We all need that approving nod

Be it at work, when you want to show your work to your collegues, your boss. Or when wearing a new shirt, you try to get others approval - just by judging their look, if not by asking them

Have you wondered why? Why is it that these little approvals are so important to us? One might wonder if it is because we are not self-sufficient as a person. That there are gaps in the personality - everyone's personality. The gaps that need filled by those approving nods, or pats on the back.

I think that to an extent is true. I would try to elaborate this by a hypothetical example.

We work as a team - we all do. There's this team working on a marketing project. Jess, a young, competent team member has been feeling lately, that her work is not appreciated that much. Actually she's feeling a bit down because of this.

One fine day, in the middle of a brainstroming session, Tim, one of her peers finds a good point in her arguments, and praises her idea. A couple other members agree too. Voila! they've made her day! She can feel herself quite high in her spirits. She spends the rest of the day light and charmed.

What exactly happened here? Jess got an approval from her peers - an approval of herself. Approval of her being. Her work. She might have been doing the same work all along. Just because an idea of her clicked among the peers, her downs have turned into ups.

What if the praise came from her boss, instead of the peers? There would be an added bonus (no, not in terms of money, at least not now :) ) - the praise is coming from someone superior to her. Someone she respects (more likely unwillingly, though). She knows that this impression she has made will bring her some benefit - sooner or later. So, along with an approval, she got an assurance that the approval will be recorded and can be encashed later.

See how much an approving nod can mean!

(to be contd.)