I believe the elevators have a magical power that makes people act smart when they're around. I see real smart people everyday..
Some real punctual ones, in order to reach somewhere in time, come running to a closing elevator and try to stick a limb in the doors. As if saying "here, could you take half of me to my floor, please? I'll stick the other half in the next elevator"
I guess that makes sense. Why else do you think most of our body parts come in pairs? I mean its just a hand! A hand can't be more important than saving 2 minutes in reaching your desk, so that you can get the first brew from the coffee-machine.
Just the other day, a gentleman came running and stuck his leg in the doors. Fortunately the doors gave way and he hopped in. Said to me smiling: "Some people think that's rude, but I think that works". "Rude?" I thought, "that's suicide, dude!"
I remember seeing a lady who ended up stuck outside for an hour with her hand inside. The only thing she felt sorry about was she couldn't drink the Pepsi she was holding in the hand (aha!)
Some real smart ones can actually talk to the elevators. Why else, would they not press an 'up' or a 'down' button, while waiting for an elevator? They probably just whisper "come down" on the doors, and...just wait!
And when some low-life does press the 'up' button and the elevator finally arrives, the smart ones don't press their floor. Remember, they can actually 'talk' to the machine? And what if it doesn't stop at their floor, who minds a free ride of the building?
And what's the fun riding-in quitely? If you do have a company, the smart thing to do is just pick up a random talk. Start with:
"..and did you see the kind of mails he sends?"
"heck! I ain't seen my inbox in days"
..and then both start laughing. The other dumb-ones on the elevator never get the joke, and keep thinking "damn! why couldn't I talk about such smart things?"